16-August-2021, @ 1600 PDT:
Oh my gosh! I’m overwhelmed by your kindness and support. I received 205 emails from you, all, uplifting me to continue forward with my journey. No words I can possibly put together to convey the way I’m feeling now…other than…thank you, thank you, thank you.
and was beat out by another actor for a spot in a hit television series that you all heard of.
Yesterday, 13-Friday-2021, my agent shoots me a text and email asking me for my availability to get on-set on Monday, 16-August-2021.
This is called a, check-avail(ability). This means the production company is considering me for a part in their project: film or television. The step after check-avail is Booked. Booked means that the production company wants to hire me; and, my agent and manager work out my pay and other terms and agreements of my role in the television or film project.
As of recent, production studios require all talent, crew, and personnel to be vaccinated before entry to the studios.
I’m vaccinated, and I got tested; and, my test results were negative; so, all my documents were in place and ready for submission to the studio.
From the time I got the text and email from my agent, which was yesterday morning, to the late afternoon, I was waiting and waiting for my agent to say, you’re booked!
I got the email at around 1634 hours PDT, and it read, released. Release means the production company/studio decided to go with another actor, or the part got eliminated, or for whatever reason — the bottom line is they didn’t hire me.
Ooof! The wind was knocked out of me. I was devastated and fell off my horse.
After encouraging words from my agent and manager, I felt better…you see, I’m new to the LA scene, as an actor. Ive only been in the LA scene for three years, as a full-time actor, and I’ve been kicking ass!
How do I know I’ve been kicking ass?
Because, now, into my three years, after approximately 200-plus auditions, casting is getting to know me.
How do I know this?
- production studios are calling my agent or manager and asking SPECIFICALLY for me to audition for a part in their film or television show; and,
- I’m being repeatedly asked by the same casting director to audition for parts.
I’m truly blessed; because, a lot of no-name actors are not getting auditions like the amount I’m getting; and, a lot of actors at my level are not being personally asked to auditions like I am — so, I’m truly blessed by the Trinity to get to the point I’m at right now — a new no-name actor in the LA scene.
It took me approximately three years of never turning down an audition despite rejection after rejection. Even though I get rejected, I always approach each audition with creativity, skill, energy, professionalism, and a positive mental attitude; and, it finally paid off; because, I’m in casting’s radar and Rolodex.
So, why am I writing this BLOG?
Because, I want you all to know this side of my life, as an actor — it’s the toughest journey and goal I ever took on in my life. Unlike my past life in Corporate America, whereby all my jobs were given to me by my family’s contacts, and my own contacts I made along the way, I have no contacts as an actor; and, I have to earn my way to get to my goals as an actor.
Corporate America was a walk in the park for me — not so for me in the entertainment industry. I’m on my own, and this is a helluva a mountain I took on for myself.
This part of my life is painful — I get depressed, and I feel like giving up my acting career at times; and, when I get my break, I want you all to know that my journey to getting that break was not easy and was riddled with extreme lows — suicidal lows at a handful of times; but, somehow, with the help of the Trinity, my family, and my close circle of people, whom I trust, they all picked me up, dusted me off, and helped me get back up on my horse to pursue another day towards getting my break as an actor.
In my life, I have never been a user any legal or illegal drugs to help me when I’m depressed, anxious, angry, or whatever.
My process has always been to accept those emotions and let them run their course though my heart, mind, body, and soul. I also don’t believe in professional psychologists nor psychiatrists — I talk to the Trinity, my mum and sister, and my close friends. I also do a lot of writing in my journal, and, now, this BLOG. All these channels helped me work through my depression, anger, sadness, and whatever else I’m feeling.
After I was released and got the air back in me; my GF said, hey, I prepared a tub full of bubbles for you.
(She and I just started dating, and things are going really well…I really like her — hell, I took her to the Warner Bros. Lot, and I NEVER take anyone to Warner Bros.; but, please don’t let her know that — this is just between you, I, and the other viewers of this BLOG. Anyway, I call her, GF, ONLY in this BLOG, for the sake of simplicity. We’ve only been on three dates so far — she’s got that Deadpool’s GF (Morena Baccarin) attitude/personality goin’ for her, and I find that so refreshing and hot! Kinda early to say, but I kinda know…ya know what I’m sayin’? I’m just being extra careful that I don’t get deterred from my acting objectives and goals — she’s an actress, too; so, she gets my scene.)
I jumped in and relaxed.
After my bath, I went to my room, and I let my emotions run their courses through my heart, mind, body, and soul. I questioned my whole career as an actor…I told the Trinity, I need to yell at You and question You because I don’t understand if I should be acting anymore, and I need You to help me understand this whole stuff and my journey on this planet — WTF is my purpose?
While I’m in my room, I always turn off my phone; I don’t respond to any text messages nor phone calls…this is my time for myself and my consultation time with the Trinity. This is my time to have a meltdown — to cry, to be angry, and let all my true, and primal feelings out that I can’t let out while I’m not in my room.
Time is irrelevant — my consultation time with the Trinity can take as little as five minutes to feel better or the whole night and into the next day — just depends on the way I feel; but, once I’m done with all those feelings running out of my body; and, once I get my answer from the Trinity, I’m done — closed issue; and, I’m ready to fight another day for my break in television and film.
I asked the Trinity, Why did you let me come this far and so close only to fucking squash me? I feel like Moses…You put him through this long ass fucking journey; and, he gets to the Promise Land; but, because he crossed You during his journey, You let him see the Promise Land, but You don’t let him in, and he dies. Is this what you’re doing to me, too? Let me know how I crossed You, and I will do whatever You want me to do to make it right — even if it means I give up my acting — is that what you want of me? If it is, I will give up my acting and follow Your will and fulfill Your purpose of me; but, if You still want me to be an actor, do it as Your will and not mine.
Silence…then, in 20 minutes or so, my phone rings…I’m surprised; because, I always turn my phone off during my consultation time with the Trinity. This is the first time I left my phone on during my consultation time with the Trinity…it was my sister…I was going to let it go to vmail, but I was compelled to answer it.
Dude, you can’t give up…trust Him…that gig was not right for you…He is protecting you from whatever it was that would have screwed you up on that gig as an actor and as a person…also realize, you’re just not ready, as an actor, to be on that show; and, He is preparing you for something that will be a better fit — a better part for you in the future when you’re ready.
Treat this rejection as a sign that you obviously have talent and skills; you got to the finals. Also, remember you’re auditioning everyday; casting is personally asking for you to audition for specific parts; keep that in mind; and, you must trust Him in that He will get you to the part that best fits you. You never get feedback on your auditions. Consider this experience as feedback — you should look at this feedback as positive…you had a strong performance that got you to the finals of this show; so, use that acting technique for your future auditions. Use this rejection, as His way of letting you know He is with you in this journey, and letting you know that you’re a good actor; you’re doing the right things in your auditions; but, this was not the part for you. You’re getting close to getting that break — don’t give up now! Understand that this is His way of telling you, you’re almost there. Continue to work hard, and trust in Him.
After that call from my sis, I felt that He was talking to me through my sister’s wisdom. I felt better. I got out of my room, and WE went out to dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant — I was energized with a Positive Mental Attitude and with the knowledge that I’m on the right track as an actor. With that knowledge, I’m back to my kick-ass bad-ass attitude that no one can ever take away from me! I’m back on my horse — let’s ride! — Ghost Rider.
Matthew McConaughey shares his dad’s advice on pursuit of acting: Don’t ‘half-a– it’
Matthew McConaughey said he had “many doubts” when he was starting out as an actor in an interview that aired last week.
Read in Fox News: https://apple.news/AMp7uBCqARRO5_5tEJzCG8A
My agent and manager tell me, Alfonso, your time is coming soon, the phone rings all the time asking for you to specifically audition for a specific part…don’t give up…hang in there; your time is coming, soon.
/s/ Alfonso Faustino