Alfonso Faustino: My Life…it’s like this fat and juicy hamburger…

I was in Los Angeles making my rounds with some of the studio producers to further my acting career by passing out my head-shot and resume (head-shot credit:  After my last producer-meeting, I swung over to Beverly Hills to meet up with a good acquaintance of mine, Courtney, who is an actress.


We met up at a well-known restaurant for a late lunch or early dinner.  We were talking about things we would do over in our lives and favorite ages to re-live.

I never really pondered over her questions before I answered them while I was stuffing a bacon, mushroom, hamburger in my mouth and sipping my Coke — man, I dig a nice fat juicy burger — gets me all the time; and, it is always Coke — not Pepsi — never was and never will.

Anyway, I was listening to her answer her own questions — she’s turning 30 years old this year; and, I guess she’s going through that whole crap — ya-know, “What is the meaning of my life?”

Honestly, I never went through that whole crap of, “Alfonso, what is your purpose in life?” “Why am I here?” “What have I got to show for my life?”  Hell, all those are just a bunch of crap questions that are a waste of time for me.

After I chunked off my second to last bite of that fat, juicy, medium-rare cow flesh, I sipped my Coke, and I looked at her dead in the eyes, and I said, “Courtney, I never thought about going back to any age nor any times in my life — all those years helped me get to the man I am today, and I really dig myself and the person I am today and will be tomorrow — I have no regrets in my life — I proudly stand behind every single thing I wrote, said, and did in my entire years of being on this planet.  I am in better shape now, mentally, spiritually, artistically, emotionally, intellectually, and physically, than I ever was in my past; and, my life at this stage is just absolutely amazingly splendid.


Then, I picked up the last chunk-sized fat, juicy, medium-rare cow flesh, oozing with blood and juices from the mushrooms and bacon and went on to say, “It’s kinda like this burger…it would never ever taste as splendid to me as it does right now…sure, I can repeat the same order after this one or order another one tomorrow; but, that second one just won’t be as good as this one; because, the experience is a one-time-only experience; and, that’s the same as my life…if I were to repeat and change any aspects of my life, well…I wouldn’t have awesome life that I have today; and, I wouldn’t be the groovy guy I am today and will be tomorrow — I really dig myself — the good, the bad, and the ugly; hence, I have no interest to change any of the events in my past.

After my statement, I shoved that last chunk of juicy cow flesh in my big fat mouth and savored all the flavors busting like fireworks on my tongue and entire mouth — the party in my mouth was on!  The cow flesh was vibrant with a char-broiled smokey flavor, then came the pig flesh with its natural savory saline crunchy flavors and textures, and the mushrooms balanced and blended all those rich flavors with its oaky juicy sauces…mmm-mmm-Mmm — that was a great burger!

She asked, “So, there isn’t one single thing you would change?

After I ended the party in my mouth by swallowing a GULP of Coke, I responded, while wiping the corners of my mouth with a finely meshed napkin, which was so soft and smooth, due to its 600+ thread-count and said, “Yup — not a single thing…if I wasn’t happy with the man I am today nor my life, then, ‘yes,’ I’d probably wish I could re-live and change things in my past — but, I don’t — I’m very happy with myself and looking forward to being better, stronger, and wiser in my coming days, weeks, months, and years.

After I made my statement, the gorgeous blonde waitress with legs so perfectly long, slender, smooth, and gently colored by the sun’s rays, asked me, with a gorgeous million dollar smile and the brightest blue eyes, “Would you like anything else Alfonso?

Mesmerized into a deep gentle locking stare, I put on my best smile and said, “Yes, Joi-Lynn…I’d like a strawberry milkshake — no whip cream cuz I’m on a diet.

Damn, was that shake gooooD!

/s/ Alfonso Faustino

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